This entry differs from the last two in a way. For this week I focused on an action of mine that is very personal and an issue that I am much more emotionally invested in.
High school years were far from the easiest times, as I am sure many of you can relate. My home life went through many changes and by the time I graduated I had no relationship with my mother.
See being who I am, when I feel emotionally vulnerable I shut down and avoid situations and instances where I need to be open and expressive. In turn I have been hesitant to try and rebuild the amazing relationship we once had, many years ago. I always think to myself I’ll deal with it all eventually, but not now I have so much going on.
Which is just an excuse I have used to avoid admitting to myself I am a little scared.
So this week my mother and I text, the brief conversations were filled mostly with small talk. But regardless, I am proud I started somewhere.
I know eventually the small talk will be replaced with the real and raw conversations that need to be had. I can’t predict how everything will turn out. What I know is I do not want to ever look back and say I wish I would have tried, I wish I wasn’t so stubborn. Because of that I stepped one foot out of the box and will continue to push myself beyond my comfort zone.
From: Comfort To: Courage
:) This is definitely a huge step from comfort to courage. It's so easy to put off repairing relationships, because frankly it's a tough thing to do. I'm really glad you took that first step with your mom though. I had a similar situation with my father where I lost contact with him for a few years. Just recently I've been back in touch with him and his family and even spent Christmas break with him. Even though there were rough times in the past, it feels so good to retie those bonds, forgive, and make things right again.
ReplyDeleteHi Alexis. So I happened to be in the floater group that has to comment on a random blog once a week and I am really happy that I chose yours. Its weird to think that there is someone out there who is going through the same thing as me but its true. My high school years were bad which resulted in a tarnished relationship with my mother and sister. And, like yourself, I chose to keep all emotions inside and ignore the fact that I hated the way our relationships were. Its a bad thing we do to ourselves because internalizing the situation just magnifies it and makes it harder to fix. For me I let it take over other relationships as well, but now I am trying to fix that. I remember how hard it was for me to take the first step but I'm really happy I did. I hope your situation works out for the best and I guess I just wanted to say that you are definitely not alone.
ReplyDeleteI been in the same situation as you and Ashley and I can understand how hard it is to repair a relationship. Being vunerable is so uncomfortable, but after you pass that first step it gets easier. It takes a lot of courage to even talk to someone that once hurt you even if you don't have a real talk.
ReplyDelete