Me Time.!

“Don’t compromise yourself. You are all you got.”
Janis Joplin

Things might be much easier if I could keep this in mind at all times. Don’t get me wrong I am not putting myself in harms way or anything, but I do have a tendency to put myself second. I seem to offer unconditional help for the issues my loved ones and friends (sometimes even acquaintances) are going through, whether it is their fault or not. See in this exchange I forget about focusing on myself.

I mean have you ever found yourself putting others’ interests, happiness, and needs before your own?

As my grandma has told me many times, “You can’t take everyones stuff on as your own.”

So as a final push from comfort to courage I encouraged myself to focus on my own emotional needs. You know, be a little selfish for a change and put me first.

To start I took a little “me time,” time to think, clear my head, and reflect. I sorted out with myself the many things that I had been avoiding thinking of, such as relationships that either need to improve or need to be let go of.

I reached out and told people things that I have been needing to say. And whether the conversations were negative or positive I know they needed to happen, as I learned a few entries ago.

For the first time in awhile I felt a sort of relaxation. I took care of myself, which I need to do more often and I will do with more often. Because as Janice Joplin would say, I am all I have got at the end of the day.

And as my last entry for From Comfort To Courage I am more than content with beginning this journey. Because for the rest of my life I will continue to try to push beyond the boundaries I set my self and outside of the familiar. There through exploration of the new, you find growth.

Signed: From: Comfort To: Courage

Something New.!

There is no better way to describe me and my ways, other than to say: I am a creature of habit. I order the same meals when I got to restaurants, I walk the same way to classes everyday, and I even keep the same general routine. Do not get me wrong now,
there is some spontaneity in my life.

But I am sure you can relate to this, generally doing or choosing to act in ways that are familiar to you. I mean what I can I say, that is what is easiest. That is what is comfortable right?

Imagine making a conscious decision everyday to blur the carefully laid out lines of our everyday routines, our lives.

This is just what I did for the past week. I switched things up and choose to consciously do things that I would not normally do. One a day to be specific. 

Here’s what I did:
Friday: I spoke in one of my classes, that I have never spoke in before.
Saturday: I went for a run outside. (Instead of the stuffy Gym.)
Sunday:I tried a new flavor for wings over. (I still favor my honey barbecue though.)
Monday: I asked my neighbor to go for lunch.
Tuesday: I decided to walk a different way to my classes.
Wednesday: I wore a little makeup. (It was a nice change, but it wont become a regular thing.)
Thursday: I tried a new restaurant, Baby’s. (I recommend it!)

Let me say, it was a little refreshing to change things up in my daily routine. I think us, as a society, get so caught up with what we know that we never try to step beyond that. This was just one more push towards courage.

Signed From: Comfort To: Courage

Guarded.!

I am sure most can relate that the pressures of life do not necessarily become easier over time, rather we learn how to better manage and cope with obstacles and changes. Depending on the individuals we all have different responses. Up until now I have been accustomed to managing on my own, handling things without help. Rarely would I seek out advice or a shoulder to lean on when I was upset.

See I always thought of that as being a weakness. So as you can guess, crying was something I just would not do, specifically in front of others. That was just out of the question. And for those who know me, know I value my independence and I have a great deal of pride, live I’ve mentioned in other entries. Because of this I had yet to allow my self to step beyond these boundaries I originally established for myself.

For this week I made it my challenge for me to express myself and open up emotionally. Now when I say this I do not mean with everyone around, rather with those who I trust and those who my problems deal with.

Now I can’t describe the amount of hesitance I had concerning this push “to courage.” But as I found myself upset through out the week, I forced myself to talk to someone. Whether it was the person who I thought to be source of the issue or someone who I knew who would genuinely care to listen. And although the week is up now that I am writing this entry, I will continue to try and open up. Coincidentally I am going to my grandmas this weekend for Easter and I can talk to her. I must admit it feels good to open up a little. I feel a little lighter.  

Signed: From: Comfort To: Courage

& P.S:
Just as an update, like I said I would in my last entry, I just wanted to write about the public speaking I said I was going to do this week. I read aloud my extra credit question I submitted to the professor. It went real quick and was not that big of deal. (I say that now that it is over) No, really most people in the lecture did not turn around to look at me. I think the worst thing is the anxiety before. Now that I know this I just have to find ways calm my nerves down.

Signed (again): From: Comfort To: Courage