I am sure most can relate that the pressures of life do not necessarily become easier over time, rather we learn how to better manage and cope with obstacles and changes. Depending on the individuals we all have different responses. Up until now I have been accustomed to managing on my own, handling things without help. Rarely would I seek out advice or a shoulder to lean on when I was upset.
See I always thought of that as being a weakness. So as you can guess, crying was something I just would not do, specifically in front of others. That was just out of the question. And for those who know me, know I value my independence and I have a great deal of pride, live I’ve mentioned in other entries. Because of this I had yet to allow my self to step beyond these boundaries I originally established for myself.
For this week I made it my challenge for me to express myself and open up emotionally. Now when I say this I do not mean with everyone around, rather with those who I trust and those who my problems deal with.
Now I can’t describe the amount of hesitance I had concerning this push “to courage.” But as I found myself upset through out the week, I forced myself to talk to someone. Whether it was the person who I thought to be source of the issue or someone who I knew who would genuinely care to listen. And although the week is up now that I am writing this entry, I will continue to try and open up. Coincidentally I am going to my grandmas this weekend for Easter and I can talk to her. I must admit it feels good to open up a little. I feel a little lighter.
Signed: From: Comfort To: Courage
& P.S:
Just as an update, like I said I would in my last entry, I just wanted to write about the public speaking I said I was going to do this week. I read aloud my extra credit question I submitted to the professor. It went real quick and was not that big of deal. (I say that now that it is over) No, really most people in the lecture did not turn around to look at me. I think the worst thing is the anxiety before. Now that I know this I just have to find ways calm my nerves down.
Signed (again): From: Comfort To: Courage
I feel like such a creeper saying this but its weird that so much of your entries are things that I myself fight with. I found myself facing the same problem as you and decided that the best way for me to move forward was for me to talk to the people at the helth center. I know how it sounds, going to talk to a therapist; but trust me, it was well worth it. She cannot tell anyone what I tell her, something witch I have trouble trusting my friends to do, and she encouraged me to open up more. I now have a stronger relationship with the friends that I have met here because of it and it was free too. Best decision of my life. :)
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